This secret should lie within me and me only

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I inhaled and exhaled deeply to calm myself down but could not . Suddenly,  a voice came up , " are you okay ?" . I looked up , it was Finn.  I had totally forgotten that he came with me and just went out for a while to let us talk freely . I said in a slightly fainted voice ,' I am alright , yes I am .....I guess ". 
He sat on the chair beside me and said , " Guesses won't work here Ms. Udolph,  I was right behind you two and you seemed lost right at the moment when she brought the issue of coma up . By any chance did anything happened to you and your family in past? I know you might not want to tell me , you don't need to but as a friend of yours it is my advice to you , don't let your emotions go overboard or drive you away". 
Right at that moment I thought about that day a week ago when I cried on the rooftop . After I went home that day , out of curiosity I searched on web if something was wrong with me . And I got to know that I was matching with all the symptoms of BPD ( Borderline Personality Disorder ) and it was almost incurable as I researched further . Uptill now it was only me who knew about it and this was the reason due to which I got blanked whenever I heard about any tragedy like that just now .
While I was thinking all this Finn said , " see , you seem lost again ". I came back in present . I said it was nothing but I am just too sensible to these kind of things and I just feel too bad for her when I think about it . He didn't seem satisfied with this answer but he just nodded . 
We sat there for a while , when I calmed myself down I told him that I would come here tomorrow too , there was no need for him to come and rest it was upto him. Saying this , I said bye to him and left .
I reached home when it was around the time of sunset . Now , I sat in my room thinking when did it all started. My strange behavior,  this disorder?when did it exactly started.  I thought about a while and came to a time before which none of that event had happened to me , as far as I remember atleast . It was April two years ago , I going on a trip with my family after a long time by road . We were all very happy and were half way left to our destination.  I stopped by a hotel to get some rest and eat something . All of us washed up and came to the dining area to have lunch . My father got a call and he left to take it , he was standing at corner and right ahead my eyes . He picked up the call and just after a couple of moments , I saw that tears shed from his eyes . Yes, this was the first time I saw him crying . I was worried what happened to him . He came to my mom and said something in her ears , I was curious ...................

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