I know what's coming

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 I knew I was going to have a Panic attack and my episode had already triggered. And it was really bad when they both happened at the same time. I could not show it to them, without saying anything I got up and stormed out without knowing where my feet were taking me.

My mind was full of voices of my family, of the scene when I lost them. I was struggling to breathe and my legs were shaking helplessly but I was still running like crazy.

When my feet stopped, I was already out of school building, in the middle of the road. My mind was a mess, I was looking around like a lunatic but those voices were all coming at once. I heard a loud horn coming from my right. I looked there and saw a truck coming my way.

I was too confused to do anything. My mind was not working and my legs also stopped working. I stood there staring at the truck whose driver was honking. Just at the moment, when I was about to get hit. I was thrown to the side of the road with someone.

I was now back to my senses, it was Brian who pushed me. He was trying to catch his breath and Paige was also running towards me from far away. Once he got a hold of his breath, he turned towards me and shouted in full anger,

"Are you out of your mind? What in the world were you doing there standing like a fucking statue when you knew there was a truck coming your-"

"Yes" I simply cut him off

"What?" he was confused but I continued

"Yes, you are right. I am fucking crazy. I knew that truck was going to hit me but still I was not moving an inch because my got damn brain had stopped working and so did my legs. I was not doing anything because I was having a fucking Panic attack and BPD episode both at the same time-" before I could realize what I just said, it came out of my mouth leaving both Brian and Paige who was there in front of me in great surprise.

As Brian was about to say something, Paige stopped him and helped me get up and took me with her. She did not utter a word. We went back to our class, Paige said something to our teacher and she let both of us leave early. I was still not understanding anything, she dragged me all the way back to my house.

We reached home and now we were sitting in my room facing each other. She was looking at me hoping to get an answer. I sighed,

"I know what's coming".

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