I want to be strong but these tears won't let me be

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 I told her in my hoarse voice," I know right, I am not the Anna I knew too. The Anna I knew had a happy family . If you find her, then please tell her to come back because what I currently am is something that I myself don't like". She didn't say a word and she continued to stare at me but my eyes were still fixed on the TV. After sometime, she finally broke silence," Anna, I know you are brave but at times like these. It is brave to not act like brave ones and cry your feelings out". I was holding my tears in and I was trying very bad not to lose control again. I smiled at her," You know Lucia, sometimes it is hard for us and even impossible for us to hold back our feelings but now I have just realized it myself that the more I let my emotions out, the more weak I will become and that is something I don't want. I want to stand strong for my brother and for myself. Diego wants me to be that brave girl which my parents wanted me to become and I will try my level best to become that and these tears will hold me back again. So, I am learning to get a control over them and I have a request from you if you don't mind".

She nodded for me to continue.

I continued," Please see me as your friend only I mean don't feel any pity for me. I know you care for me but let us just try to be what we used to". She stayed silent for a while and then she finally sighed and said," Okay, if that is what you want. I will try my level best".

We both exchanged smiles and continued to watch the TV. This time I didn't stop myself and I tried to feel every moment in which I was seeing my parents because from tomorrow I was not going to do that anymore.

It was the morning now around eight and the sun was already up. I looked at the side and Lucia was still asleep, I decided not to wake her up and took my crouches silently and went to wash up. After that I went downstairs to check if my brother came or not. When I reached the living room, I saw that he was also asleep but on he couch. His dark circles were severe stating clearly that he had cried a lot. As i tried to move forward , my crouches accidently made a sound and Diego woke up as if he was in a nightmare. He saw me and asked me immediately if I was okay. I assured him and finally he seemed to be at ease. I told him that Lucia slept with me last night and he said that he knew. He already had a check on me before going to sleep.

Then he suddenly got up and started to go towards the kitchen saying that he was going to make the breakfast. He surely was a better cook between the two of us but today I wanted him to rest as he was also going through a lot. I called my brother," Diego, you should wash up first. You look terrible and as for the breakfast. I will make it and you won't neglect saying my leg is injured. I can at least stand at a place and make it. Now, you go and wash up". He saw my serious face and he was in no mood to quarrel so he agreed.

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