Small Mind , Tangled Thoughts

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He said , " Aug 24 ........". I was like 24 that's just two days after mine . I smiled because I didn't expect our birthdays to be so close. Then we had a good chat , we chatted about teachers , schools , our families and I felt better . Because it was a good chat which I was having after a really long time and it was good . Then , we went back to the library and I read for a while and went back home.  The next week was pretty normal because I did not experience any BPD episode . The start of that week was pretty good because Lucia came back to school and his father was a lot better . It was time for the hard work we could do upto our limits because our finals were arriving by the next month . Every teacher started the revision of syllabus and we also started making and recapitulating our notes . It was pretty tough time of hardwork.  And then we were finally this close to the finals, they were just a week away . I was tensed not because I didn't prepare or anything like that but what would my score be and how would the exam paper be , I had no idea . And on the day before our first exam , that thing happened which I wished would not happen atleast at this crucial time . Due to nervousness,  I had another episode . I was blank and could not think of anything . I told my mother , as she didn't know that I had BPD so she thought that it could low Blood Pressure but it was normal . So , she concluded it to be just tension of exam and told me not to worry too much stress and stay calm . The first exam went smoothly , so did the second exam . It was now the day for third exam it was chemistry,  and it went terrible .  I mean , I was sure that I could get the lowest marks I could ever get . The next two were also fine . After a week of the exams , we were all promoted . Due to some reasons we were told that the school could not hang the result more than telling pass or fail . So we were all promoted to our final grade of school life , grade 12 . I didn't know if it would be exciting,  if I could become a person of aim , if I could understand  myself . This was all going on in my small mind at the same time . I know for a high schooler it is too much but I could not help it . Just at that moment a thought popped up in my mind . I didn't know where it come from but it just did......................

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